


No One Is Ever Really Gone

by Akashne



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Armitage Hux Lives, Armitage Hux Needs A Hug, Everyone is angry at Poe, F/M, Hux Does The Right Thing For The Wrong Reasons: Episode 8645980678, I started writing it ONE DAY after I saw TROS, Inappropriate Use of the Force, Post-Canon, Rey (Star Wars) is a Mess, Rey is grieving, background Kaydel/Mitaka, they are all broken children
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:15:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 15,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23655952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akashne/pseuds/Akashne
Summary: After being shot by Pryde, Hux thought he was dead.So did the rest of the galaxy.When he wakes up, he's in Resistance's custody and doesn't have much choice but to cooperate with them, to prove he is more worth alive than dead. It's there when he meets the last Jedi, Rey, who - unexpectedly for both of them - becomes his friend.
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Rey
Comments: 111
Kudos: 161





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing it a day after TROS - still shaken by what happened there, still hoping I might like it, but already one thing was clear to me:  
> Armitage Hux didn't die.  
> (His "death" was easily reversible and that's probably the best thing TROS did)  
> It took me longer than expected, but I was adamant to finish it before I started posting - because, yes, my friends, this fic is finished, and beta read (by my dear friend [Erulisse17](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Erulisse17/pseuds/Erulisse17)), waiting to be posted. I'll be posting a chapter every 2-3 days. Thank you to all my friends who helped me write it by showering me with praise and listening to my doubts, and thanks to Aszka for her marvellous moodboards - you are the best, my dear <3  
> Please, if you like it, leave a comment, it's a huge motivation and confidence booster and I need all the help to write all the other things that have been brewing in my head :3

At first, Armitage Hux thought he had actually done it: he had helped bring that fool of a “Supreme Leader” down. He had played them all. 

He was so pleased with himself, so focused on congratulating himself for his cleverness, he didn’t even notice Pryde’s shot.

The pain didn’t last long, thankfully, and then he was gone.

Like the fool his father always thought him to be.

(He really was one, wasn’t he?)

***

In the darkness, there was no light, no tunnel, nothing - nothing but pain. It was everywhere - centered in his chest, but spreading to the furthest parts of his body. He never really bothered to think about what happens after one’s death (though he had hoped his father had met with something rather nasty in the end), but he certainly hadn’t expected pain-laced darkness.

Or the irritating voice that just couldn’t let him relax into nothingness.

“General, we’re so close, you can’t give up now… Stay with me! Armitage!"

More discomfort and fleeting anger - who dared to use his first name?! 

“Oh, for kriff’s sake, don’t you dare die on me now!"

He thought he was already dead. But the effort of trying to puzzle out what was happening became even harder, thoughts slipping away from his mind only partially formed.

"General Hux! There is still so much to be done! ...have a duty…"

Ah, yes. Duties. He always had so many of them. He couldn’t even remember a life that wasn’t centered around his responsibilities. There was so much to be done - someone to be killed, a galaxy to bring to order… or was it to chaos? Did he want to conquer it? Free it? He couldn’t really remember.

And then the pain stopped, again. He was too weak to even hope it would be for good.

***

When he resurfaced again, Armitage was suddenly fully awake - and full of pain. The abrupt end of his dreamless sleep caused him to jolt upward, until his body protested very, very emphatically. He fell back down on the pillows, and closed his eyes for a moment, waiting for the dizziness to subside. As soon as he could see straight, his eyes started assessing the room around him.

"Ah, General," a monotonous voice said, "please try not to move too violently. Your injuries are stable, but any disruptive actions could further damage them, which would mean complications and reparative surgeries in the future that are completely unnecessary."

His eyes jumped instantly to the voice’s source - a grey-faced alien with big, fish-like eyes, whose small head was on a disquietingly long neck.

"On Kamino?" he asked surprised, his voice hoarse.

The being blinked twice, seemingly without hurry or in thought, reminding Hux why exactly he preferred to deal with humans. 

Or, at least, the ones who didn’t wear masks.

"No, unfortunately. As you know, all the facilities were almost completely raided, robbed, and destroyed by the Empire many years ago. I’m one of the few that were fortunate not to be there and subsequently avoided capture by… your people."

Something in the voice of the Kaminoan changed, the emotion almost readable even in the monotony of their voice.

"You are on one of the ships of the Allied Fleets that has been temporarily converted to a hospital ship. Now that you are awake and stable, I am going to leave to my other patients. Please try not to disturb your wounds, my attention is needed elsewhere."

With that, the unnamed Kaminoan left the room.

***

Next few days were spent in an infuriating peaceful routine: he woke up, ate the food brought by droids, his condition checked by med droids, then food again, then more droids. With nothing to do in between, Hux was considering actually opening his wounds again, just to do  _ something _ . 

He resisted the temptation each time it arose - he wasn’t that stupid.

Or maybe he was, considering how he got there.

Because he might have not been cuffed to the bed, there may be no visible guards, but he definitely was not a free man. But had he ever been?

***

Finally, relief came. 

After a final examination from the med droids, he was given a change of clothes (not his old uniform, but not a prison jumpsuit, either) then led by a quiet, serious-looking woman to a transport, then down to some kind of a forest-hidden base.

So this is where the Resistance had been hiding for the last few months.

Not that the “Supreme Leader” really cared. He cared only about his magic tricks.

Again - no cuffs, no weapons, no show of strength - but he didn’t want to test the illusion, to see what really lay underneath this odd facade. Not for the first time he missed his monomolecular blade that had become part of himself, hidden under the sleeve of his uniform. He would never have thought he could feel so…  _ naked _ with his clothes on.

From the hangar, he was led to an… office, not interrogation room. He tried not to scoff - he has seen enough to surmise there had been some kind of victory - and with Ren involved it probably meant the fall of the whole Order, or even both of them, because why not, he never did anything with moderation. Hux didn’t want to care, but he couldn’t help it, not when he had spent his entire life building the organization up and rising through its ranks. It stung to know Ren destroyed yet another part of his life.

The office was already occupied by someone - a handsome man in his late thirties, with sharp eyes and a roguish smirk always playing somewhere on his lips.

Poe Dameron.

"Welcome, General," he said in a voice betraying little emotion. "Please, sit down."

Hux complied with this request, his skin itching, his body waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"I have to tell you, General Hux, that this is not how I expected for us to meet… again. Honestly, I didn’t expect us to meet for the first time, either. But here we are." He stopped, a little baffled by Hux’s silence. 

Good. 

"I honestly thought you wouldn’t make it - you should have left with us when you helped us escape. My personnel told me if it weren’t for the blasterproof vest you were wearing, you’d be a goner. And even with it, you barely made it."

Hux couldn’t stop himself.

"I didn’t expect to be shot from ten paces," he blurted.

The bastard sitting opposite him actually smirked.

"I guessed as much. So, here’s the situation." Ah, there it was. "The Resistance, with the help of a few friends, calling themselves the Allied Fleets, defeated the First Order - and its successor, too. You are the highest surviving officer of both these organizations. Or rather, you were, before you were forcibly demoted by a blaster shot." 

Hux ground his teeth but didn’t respond. 

"On the other hand, you provided us with very valuable information, not to mention saving the lives of multiple Resistance members, mine included. It might have been for the wrong reasons, but nevertheless, you provided valuable help." 

He paused, undoubtedly for effect. "So, here is my problem, General. If the Allied Fleets learn about your presence among us, they will demand you stand trial and be sentenced to death for what the First Order did to the Republic and the galaxy as a whole. And let’s be honest, even if the judge was the most impartial being in existence, you would be sentenced, and the punishment chosen would be the harshest that we know, without becoming barbaric, of course." 

He looked Hux in the eye as if expecting a retort, but Hux just pursed his lips, not gracing this assessment with an actual reply. 

"They don’t know about you, yet. And our agent, and his handler, are trying to convince us that you are more valuable alive, and that you might cooperate with us."

Hux frowned.

"Your… agent?" he asked cautiously.

"Yes, the one who saved your life and then brought you to us. Dopheld Mitaka." Dameron said with feigned ease.

Hux looked down at his hands, trying to process this.

Of course Mitaka would betray the First Order for the Resistance. He was always too soft for the military. But he was just too efficient as an aide for Hux to just throw him away. He supposed he would have to thank him now, for saving his life.

With a sigh, Hux relaxed in the chair for the first time - the masks were gone, it was time for negotiations

"Alright, what are your conditions?"

Dameron leaned back on his chair with a predatory smile.

"I want it all. I want to wipe the galaxy of all the First Order and remnants of the Empire once and for all. I won’t make the same mistake the Rebel Alliance and Republic did. I will not have this same fight in twenty, thirty, forty years, or ever. I want it all gone."

Dameron never was good at maintaining a poker face, but he seemed to mask his real emotions with all that roguish charm and humour. But now he let that slip, showing Hux the beast that lay beneath. The bloodlust. Hunger. This was something Hux knew how to deal with.

"Then you came to the right person," he said with a calculating smile.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last time he had seen her was on the tapes from the day Snoke was killed, her dark grey clothes a pleasant change from the rags she was first brought to the Starkiller in. Now she was wearing white - not a very subtle sign of her affiliation to the Light side, the Jedi, and "the good guys".
> 
> The Girl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter today, but I promise longer one soon.   
> Another lovely moodboard by Aszka, and as usual the chapter was beta-read by the best beta in the fandom, [Erulisse17](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Erulisse17/pseuds/Erulisse17).  
> Thank you for the lovely response for the first chapter, I hope you continue liking it.
> 
> And if you decide to first write a fic and then divide it into chapters? Don't. Because you'll end up with one chapter like 1k words and another like 3k words XD

Time passed slowly after that, but finally, he was given something to work on - writing down every piece of information from every planet the First Order had taken, listing hundreds of passwords and codes. After a short time he was joined by Mitaka, who helped him organize everything like a good aide he always was.

He also met Dopheld’s “handler” - a pretty young officer called Kaydel. Even a man as oblivious and indifferent to relationships as Armitage could recognize the deep connection these two had. It made a lot of sense, them together.

He didn’t really meet anyone else - his presence was kept a secret, and General Dameron was too busy with other things.

After he tired of wracking his brain for information, he moved to sketching plans of bases, ships, and weapons, just for a change of pace. 

That drew their attention and Hux was rewarded by another visit from Dameron.

The ex-squadron leader rifled through his latest notes with a frown.

"You seem to know the designs quite well," he mentioned conversationally.

Hux decided he could play this game, for the time being, just to amuse himself.

"Yes, well, I was a general," Armitage answered with an indifferent tone. Dameron’s nostrils flared, but he kept his cool.

"Is that so."

"I have a good memory." Armitage shot back, enjoying himself for the first time since… well, a year probably. He never could stop himself from poking the Mudhorn, even if it was directly in front of him.

"These drawings are a little too specific for a general to just  _ remember _ ," Dameron continued through clenched teeth.

"Oh, that!" Hux waved his hand dismissively. "Well, you wouldn’t know it, but in a normal military, not this band of rogues you have here, a man doesn’t become a general at the age of thirty without some really distinguishing achievements. I, for instance, was a lead designer for most of the First Order’s ships and weaponry - including Starkiller Base," he said, not even trying to hide satisfaction in his voice.

Dameron’s face reddened from anger.

“Before I joined the Resistance, I was a pilot for the Republic…" he started, but Hux didn’t let him finish.

"Well then, how fortunate you didn't stay with them, isn’t it?" he said with a small, cruel smile.

His habit of needling others, even a man as volatile and dangerous as Kylo Ren was an unbreakable one - Dameron didn’t stand a chance. The young general of the Resistance (or whatever they were called now) looked as if he was ready to jump across the table and throttle Hux, who was already tensing in preparation for a fight.

Dameron was half of the chair when the door hissed open.

"Hey, Poe, I came as quickly as I could…" He heard a young, feminine voice.

The Resistance leader turned away from Hux, revealing the person standing in the doorway.

The last time he had seen her was on the tapes from the day Snoke was killed, her dark grey clothes a pleasant change from the rags she was first brought to the Starkiller in. Now she was wearing white - not a very subtle sign of her affiliation to the Light side, the Jedi, and "the good guys".

_ The Girl. _

The woman who brought down Snoke, Palpatine, and Kylo Ren. The last hope of their rowdy bunch of rebels, and, strangely, also his last thought after being shot. So much resting on the shoulders of such a tiny person. He still could see how thin she was after the lifetime of slaving and scavenging, even over a year with the Resistance.

Dameron straightened after a pause, immediately calming himself, a mischievous smile on his lips.

"Ah, yes, thank you for coming!" he said. "Come here! I don't think you've ever been formally introduced. Rey, this is Armitage Hux, he's helping us purge the galaxy from all traces of the First Order, ex-Imperial sympathizers. He’s also telling us whatever he can about the Final Order's agents. Hux, this is Rey, the last Jedi."

Hux stood up and extended his hand. She looked at it for a few heartbeats before she took it. Her hands were calloused, and her grip had an unexpected strength. After their brief handshake, both of them turned their puzzled gazes towards Dameron.

"Yes, yes, I know, let me explain. Rey, as I said, Mister Ex-General, the lead designer of the Starkiller Base, has been helping us with invaluable intel so far. But, unfortunately, concerns had been raised. Mitaka, of course, confirmed as much as he could about his truthfulness, but we need to make sure he is not hiding anything. And there is only one way we can do it…"

The longer he talked, the wider Rey's eyes became. At the end of his speech, she took a step back, shot a quick look towards Armitage, who knew very well what Dameron was implying and felt his face whiten at the thought. Before he could protest, the Jedi shook her head.

"No, no, no. You can't be serious!" she raised her voice.

"I am very serious, Rey. We need this."

"Poe, you don't know what you are asking for, from both of us," she said pleadingly.

"I know. I was there, you know. On Finalizer, I had Ren take all he needed from my head. I'm sure you can do it more delicately and if he doesn't resist, I'm sure it goes smoothly." He put his hand on her upper arm in a calming gesture.

"You are out of your mind!" she shouted in response, shaking his hand off and running out of the room.

After the door hissed closed, Hux relaxed in his chair and looked at Dameron with a sardonic smile.

"That went well."

Dameron spun in place to look at him. "You should pray she changes her mind, Hux, or you’re never getting off this base."

Hux frowned. "That’s not what we agreed."

The other man gave a wry smile.

"No, but this is how it is; you’re not leaving until I get confirmation you aren’t hiding anything from me."

"I’m not," Hux grit out through clenched teeth.

Dameron only shrugged. "Well, I don’t believe you. If you ever want to leave, we need assurance you haven't hidden something from us. And this is the best assurance in the whole galaxy. I don't see you having a choice, really."

With that, he turned away and left the room without a goodbye.

Armitage sat heavily on his chair and rubbed his face. He always hated surprises but this was one of the most unpleasant ones lately - and that was saying something.

All things considered, he probably preferred being shot at than having some Force user meddle with his brain. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Toss a comment to you writer?


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey talks things out with her best friend - and rationalizes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, I deliver you brand new, fresh and unused, third chapter!  
> Like always, beta read by irreplaceable [Erulisse17](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Erulisse17/pseuds/Erulisse17) and moodboard by Aszka.  
> I have the bestest friends.

Rey left the room fuming. She expected Poe, of all people, to understand about things like mind-probing - but after a thought, it became more and more in character for him. After he took the command, she noticed undertones of ruthlessness in his behaviour. She understood his reasoning and agreed with the general idea - taking them all out, wiping the First Order out of the galaxy so that they could never return again. She worked as hard as any other member of the Resistance, letting them use her abilities to the fullest extent.

It helped her forget.

But as much as she always toed the line, she never expected Poe to ask her for this. She had been suspicious about the source of their new excellent intel, but she didn't want to ask, just in case she didn't like the answer. Because as enormous as the number of casualties must have been, some of the First Order soldiers must have survived. And some of them could surely be… persuaded into cooperation. She always hoped Poe wasn’t doing anything uncivilised, but preferred not to ask. Especially after the first few times he had asked her to be present during the interrogations, to ensure their captives were telling the truth.

She refused every time, so he stopped asking. Until he decided to ambush her today.

She felt anger buzzing through her like a fiery vortex. It was so familiar, she felt the despair getting to her. She wanted to squash these feelings, but knew it was the wrong choice. 

So she ran. She decided to do the training course, or as much of it as still was there. Physical effort always helped calm her, and if she exhausted herself enough, maybe she could just fall into a dreamless sleep, blissfully forgetting about the hole in her heart that was closing so very slowly - and her resentment for it even trying to close and heal. She knew that in time all this pain would be gone, but she almost didn’t want it to.

She just wished that none of it had ever happened. It would have been so much easier.

She was just starting her third run, her breath heavy but her thoughts still a mess, when she heard a familiar voice.

"Rey! Rey, where are you?"

Finn. Her first and best friend - and probably the only person who could ever come close to understanding her.

If she dared to tell him.

She stopped, breathing heavily, waiting for him to catch up with her.

"Whoa, everything okay? Haven’t seen you like this since the battle." He didn’t have to say which battle exactly - every other battle they fought was a battle of something. Only Exegol was  _ the _ battle.

Rey swallowed, then nodded.

"Did you know that Poe has been working with Hux?"

Finn sighed.

"Yeah. And believe me, I wasn’t happy when he told me about the deal they made. But the intel he got us was legit, at least so far, and this made things easier to accept. He even told us a lot about the Stormtrooper program, which was helpful when Jannah and I started working on reversing the conditioning." He looked at Rey with concern. "Is that what made you so... " Finn gestured at her, lost for words.

"No. Yes…" She groaned at Finn’s puzzled expression and sat down on a tree stump. "You know how I refused to be a part of any interrogation, right?"

Finn nodded and sat beside her.

"Yeah, and nobody could blame you, not after you were interrogated by Ren."

Rey swallowed protest that bubbled in her chest. They didn't know. They couldn’t know.

_ They didn’t know because she never told them. _

Finn must have seen some of her feelings on her face because he gently put his hand on her shoulder.

"Hey, don’t worry. It was almost two years ago. He can’t hurt you any longer," he said sympathetically, rubbing her arm to comfort her.

Part of Rey wanted to scream, but she calmed herself with a quick, deep breath.

"It’s not about that… or, actually, it is, partially. So Poe asked me to come but didn’t tell me why before I arrived. He wants me to…  _ make sure Hux is not trying to hide anything from us _ . Using the Force."

Finn frowned.

"That shouldn't be hard, you’re really good at sensing emotions," he said with a shrug.

Rey rubbed her face in frustration.

"It’s not that simple! Hux was working closely with two Force users, and he managed to play one of them to give us intel before Exegol. I’m sure I can sense some emotions from him, but if he’s actively hiding something, that wouldn’t be enough."

"Oh.  _ Oh. _ " Finn looked at her shocked.

"Yep."

"And Poe wants you to…"

“Yep."

Finn abruptly stood up.

"I need to talk with him," he said, starting to walk towards the base.

"Finn, no…"

He turned around to face her, his body radiating with anger that flowed around him in the Force.

"How dare he?! He knows what you went through, kriff, he had the same done to him on Finalizer! I’m going to kick his ass for it!" With that, he turned away from her and started towards the base.

"Finn, wait!" She ordered with her best Jedi Master voice.

He stopped abruptly.

"Finn," she said sternly, "I need you to calm down, now."

His head hung low while he took a slow, deep breath.

"Okay. Sorry. I…"

Rey hugged him.

"Don’t be. Thank you, thank you so much for wanting to help, but… this is not the way."

"I know, I know. I let my emotions take better of me. I’m never going to become a Jedi like this," he said with sadness in his voice.

She hugged him tighter.

"Don’t say that. I know of nobody better suited to become a Jedi than you. We just need to figure out how it all works, and we are going to do this together… As soon as we have some time for it." She moved away and looked into his eyes. "You okay?" She asked with concern.

"I think I’m going to be. This is so hard! Everything I have been able to find about the Jedi says they didn’t let their emotions influence them -  _ There is no emotion, there is only peace _ , and so on - but there is nothing about that in the books you gave me," he said with frustration.

Rey laughed a little.

"Yeah, I know. But they are older than most of the Jedi things we were able to find, so maybe it was added later? Maybe we don’t need it?"

"What do you mean?" 

Rey stepped aside and started walking around the small clearing.

"I mean… We know that didn’t really work for all of them. Everything we know about the fall of the Order shows us that they weren’t perfect, they weren’t always right. Even Luke said so!" She was gesturing wildly with her hands. "That’s why I am not that intent on looking for other Jedi texts and holocrons. Because what we have in these books… It’s older. Feels more natural. I want to build on that, and not on something that has already failed so many people." 

She stopped abruptly and looked at Finn. "And imagine not feeling love, friendship, happiness… Not forming any attachments. I’ve been alone my whole life, I don’t want to go back to that. And doesn’t it sound too much like the Stormtrooper conditioning? Making you loyal only to the higher-ups, to your order?" She shook her head. "No, I don’t think it’s the right way to go. Let’s start anew, let’s start from the ancient texts and then figure out what to do."

Finn nodded.

"I like your thinking." They both smiled at each other. "But that doesn’t actually help us with the situation at hand."

Rey wrapped her arms around herself and bit her lip. "I know."

"Can you even do it? Do you know how?"

Rey was avoiding his eyes but answered truthfully.

"Yes." It was almost a whisper.

Finn could see it again, that there was something she wasn’t telling him. Something more, something she was hiding. He was losing hope of her ever opening up to him, and it broke his heart a little. What could be so horrendous or so painful, that she would feel the need to hide it from him?

It was his turn to hug her.

"Hey, it’s okay. If you don’t want to, you don’t have to. We can go to Poe and tell him you refuse to do this, okay? He’ll just have to deal with it."

Rey just nodded without a word, her face hidden in a crook of his neck. Finn was the only person that made her feel warm and safe. After a moment she sighed and moved away.

"But what if he is right?" She said with a sigh. "None of us want to fight this war ever again. I was raised on the graveyard that is Jakku. Poe’s parents fought beside Leia in the Rebel Alliance. Leia… she lost everything to this war - first her parents, then her planet, her husband, brother, son and then her life. We can’t let this happen ever again. We have such a unique opportunity to wipe it all out completely, so it never rises again." She clenched and unclenched her fists and finally looked back at him. "What if I could stop it, and I don’t?" Her eyes welled with tears.

Finn looked concerned.

"Don’t say it like that. Everyone knows you work as hard as anybody else, if not harder. If anything slips, it would not be your fault. And besides, Hux provided really excellent intel, I don’t think he is purposefully hiding anything. Poe is just being paranoid - or looking for an excuse not to let him go.”

Rey’s head snapped towards him.

"What?"

"I… I thought you knew? Poe promised that he will let Hux go if the man gives us all he knows about the First Order and the remnants of the Empire."

"Without a trial? I thought they offered him a shorter sentence or something."

Finn shook his head slowly.

"Rey, no. He is  _ the _ General Hux, destroyer of the Hosnian System. The highest surviving ranking officer in the First Order. If he gets to a trial, I doubt the death penalty is off the table. Just for him."

She gulped.

"What should I do, Finn?" She asked, despair in her voice.

Her best friend was silent for a moment.

"I don’t know, Rey. Honestly. I… I think it was unfair of Poe to ask you to do this, but at the same time - I kind of see his point. You said it yourself - we don’t want to fight them again in twenty or thirty years. We might have our own children then - I can’t imagine sending them to war. And I can’t stand the thought of a new generation of children being subjected to the Stormtrooper program, again. If we can avoid it, we should do everything we can. But I won’t blame you if you refuse - I would do it instead of you if I could."

Rey smiled weakly.

"I know Finn. Thank you." She sighed heavily. "I think I will meditate on it for a while, maybe it will help me clear my mind. Let’s get back to the base."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Toss a comment to your writer? Pretty please?


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Hux agree on the mind-reading - but things don't go perfectly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not much to add - I hope you like it :)  
> Beta read by [Erulisse17](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Erulisse17/pseuds/Erulisse17), who is the Midas of this fandom; beautiful moodboard made by Aszka.

For the first time in his life, Hux felt the urge to throw something, to listen to the sound of shattering glass, as if this could help with anything. He didn’t do that, of course, he wasn’t a barbarian. Instead, he stood up and started walking around the room, trying to think of  _ something _ that would allow him to avoid this… procedure. 

But the more he thought, the clearer it became that agreeing to this was probably his only option, especially after that stubborn man got the idea into his tiny brain. There were other ways, of course - they used many different interrogation methods in the Order and he was familiar with quite a few - but none gave the same level of certainty.

He heard it was quite painful - from what he saw of the prisoners interrogated by Ren, it must have been. But also it wouldn’t take a long time, and it might help him leave earlier… unless Dameron found another reason not to let him go. It was always a possibility, and Hux had strong suspicions, after witnessing the immediate refusal from the Jedi girl, that this might be the case.

By the end of the day, he had decided to agree, and was ready to convince the girl if he needed to.

***

The next morning when he entered the workroom, she was already there, looking through the designs he had sketched. He stopped just inside the room, observing her warily. 

"To what do I owe the pleasure of such an early visit?" he asked.

The girl looked at him with her doe eyes.

"I wanted to talk with you. About Poe’s idea," she finally said, her hands behind her back, her posture straight and radiating nervousness.

Were all the Force users so bad at concealing their feelings?

"I thought so." He nodded, slowly approaching his desk. "Did you change your mind? You seemed pretty adamant yesterday," he said, seemingly indifferent, rearranging and straightening stacks of paper, not looking at her.

"I… not yet. I’m thinking about it. I wanted to talk about it with you, first." She paused, waiting for his response. When she didn’t get one, she asked, "Do you agree to this?"

Hux shrugged.

"Why should that matter to you? You can do it whether I agree or not."

The Jedi took a step back, clearly taken aback by his words.

"I would never! I…" she stopped, clearly looking for the right words. He observed her closely, interested in what else she could show him of herself. "Listen, if you don’t resist it, there is a chance to do this painlessly. I was subjected to a mind probe once, and would never inflict something like this on someone else."

Hux hummed and nodded.

"Then we should do this."

Her lips parted in surprise.

"Don’t look at me like that," he chided her. "I want my freedom, you want your confirmation - it’s not even a choice, really." He shrugged, for better effect, observing her face changing while she thought.

"Alright. I… I’ll let you know what I decide. Later." With that, she turned and rushed to the door, leaving Armitage alone.

"Well, that was easier than expected," he said to himself.

***

Rey was sitting on her favourite tree perch overlooking the forest, dried tears on her face.

She should never have agreed to this. She knew it was a bad idea from the start. She still was so uneducated, she should have practised with Finn before she even entertained an idea of entering someone else’s mind.

It started easy enough - as they agreed, the ex-general didn’t resist and answered questions with her looking into his mind, and confirming he wasn’t hiding anything. Question after question, until even Poe was satisfied with his truthfulness. But by then, she was tired and distracted, and glimpses of other things caught her eye - and before she knew it, she was looking at his other memories. She tried to pull out, but Hux was beginning to panic too, and started resisting, confusing her. It felt like drowning in sand. She lost track of all direction and instead of resurfacing, she ended up going deeper into his memories.

She wasn’t there long, but his fear revealed some of his worst memories - of Snoke and Ren tossing him around like a ragdoll, of the constant humiliations he suffered, of his childhood, his father beating and degrading him for the smallest offence. 

When she finally managed to break away from his mind, he was lying unconscious on the floor, his pain pulsing through the Force. Rey, horrified and ashamed of what she had done, ran away as fast as she could, ignoring Finn and Poe’s muffled shouts. She ran until she came to her nest high in the trees.

She still was shaking, her body tired from the interrogation and the following exertion. No matter how she tried to calm herself, she wasn’t able to. Her attempts to slip into a meditative state were prevented by foreign memories, still burning bright in her mind. There was so much hatred, fear, and loneliness in that man, so much determination to prove everyone wrong, to destroy them all and to triumph in the end. So much… resignation, now, after he learned it was all just a ploy, that everything he worked for was just a front for Palpatine and his own games. It seemed that the Force users were the bane of his existence - Snoke, Ren, Palpatine - and now her, the intruder in his mind.

It was surprising for her to learn that a person with so much power, raised to take the highest post in the First Order, had never really been free. His options were so limited, so few - just like her or Finn. Raised by a cruel man who never showed him love or compassion, his goal the only chance at freedom he could think of - to rise to the top. But the higher he went, the more constricted he felt. 

And then Ren became the Supreme Leader, but before Hux could start organising a coup, Palpatine re-emerged and Hux realized it was all for nought. He was always destined to be only a pawn in a game played by others. He never stood a chance of ruling over the organization he had been so determined to help succeed.

This almost destroyed him, even if he wasn’t aware of it. Oh, he was good at repressing his feelings. 

This made so much sense to her, now. Why he betrayed the First Order, why he worked so hard to provide them with as much information as he could, without a single attempt at subterfuge. 

But nothing could excuse his actions - they all had tragedies in their past, and yet they weren’t the ones that destroyed a whole system of planets. But she could see now that under that hard surface of a zealous general was yet another desperately lonely soul.

And for the second time in her life, she felt that loneliness calling out to her. She knew it was wrong - he was a bad man and she still was healing after her loss. But there was something she couldn't just forget. The emptiness of a hollow heart.

And that was something Rey could sympathise with.

***

When she climbed down at sunset, she found Finn snoring as he slept, his back leaning on the tree trunk, legs crossed. She couldn’t stop herself from laughing while she shook him gently. His eyes snapped open, she could see his instant panic, him readying an excuse - until he registered her laugh and smiled bashfully in return.

"Um, so that happened," he said, massaging his neck.

Rey sat down beside him and leaned her head against his shoulder. They sat together in silence for a blessed moment.

Finally, Rey sighed.

"Is he okay?" she asked.

"When I left to look for you - which, by the way, wasn’t easy, you’ve gotten awfully good at hiding your presence in the Force. If I didn’t know how to look for your presence, I would still be going in circles in the forest. Anyway, what was I… Ah, so when I left, he was awake and responding, I figured that was good enough."

"That’s good. You brought food?"

"Of course, I did, I’m your best friend, remember?" Finn responded and gave her a small bundle.

She smiled at him and started eating. Finn took one of the sweet rolls and started crumbling it in his hands, not really eating.

"Finn, don’t waste food. Ask," she said, her mouth half full of a sweet fruit that recently became her favourite.

"Okay. So… can you tell me what happened? I already told Poe off, but all I could see was it going well and then he just collapsed and then you ran."

Rey nodded and began slowly.

"So, at first, I had everything under control - I just checked his motivations, his… well, truthfulness. I didn’t go too deep, because there was no need. But then Poe started asking about… Palpatine and his Final Order, and it triggered so many things in his mind, feelings, emotions, memories - none of them good. And, well. I got distracted."

Finn looked at her expectantly and when she didn’t continue, asked, "And?"

Rey closed her eyes and tilted her head back with a sigh.

"And I saw probably his worst memories. And the deeper I went, the more Hux panicked. And his panic started bleeding over to me. I didn’t know how to get out."

"What did you see?" He asked curiously.

She opened her eyes again and looked at him disapprovingly.

“Finn, I don’t think he would appreciate me sharing something like this."

Finn rolled his eyes.

"Okay okay. But it’s Hux we are talking about, don’t forget about it. He is responsible for Maker knows how many deaths."

"Yeah, I know," she responded without conviction in her voice.

Finn watched her closely but didn’t comment. As hard as Rey could be, she could also be surprisingly soft and compassionate. And whatever happened on Exegol, she returned from there hurt and unbalanced, but unwilling to share. He was both dying to know and a little hurt that she didn’t trust him enough to tell him. He still hoped that when she was ready, she would tell him what really happened on that planet.

Together they returned to the base for a more substantial meal than sweet rolls and fruit - Rey got very cranky during their evening lessons if she was hungry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Toss a comment to your writer?


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Unlikely, and not easy friendship is forged. Danger arises.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for a late update - I didn't feel well last night so I went to bed early. I'm better now, so don't worry! 
> 
> As usually, beta-read by fabulous [Erulisse17](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Erulisse17/pseuds/Erulisse17), who is one of the most gifted and kindest people I met in the fandom. If you don't mind Reylo (I really don't) and like good writing and good stories, I wholeheartedly recommend her works <3  
> Exceptional moodboard by Aszka (if you like it, leave a comment, she deserves all the praise!).

The next morning Rey went to visit Hux in the infirmary - he was kept there for observation, their medical officer fearing possible brain damage from her intrusion. When she heard, her guilt and shame felt even worse.

With a heavy heart, she entered his room. Hux was sitting on a hospital bed, looking at his breakfast tray with disgust. As she came in, his eyes snapped to her, then his face shifted into an unreadable mask, his eyes observing her warily.

"I…" started Rey hesitantly. "I came to apologise." She stood straighter under his almost hostile, cold gaze. "It was not my intention to pry or do you any harm."

She could see his fist clenching while he was thinking of a response.

"Also… Just so you know, I am not going to tell anyone what I saw."

That got a reaction. He narrowed his eyes and his posture went even more rigid than before.

"I don’t need your pity," he almost snarled.

“It’s not pity, it’s compassion. But I-"

He didn’t let her finish.

"Pity, compassion - whatever you call it, it doesn’t matter. I will not be thanking you for your assurances. I agreed to allow you into my mind in the context of my deal with Dameron, not for you to take whatever you want from my memory!"

Rey wanted to defend herself, but the guilt was too heavy to let her utter a word. Not that the ginger gave her a chance.

"What were you even thinking, doing something like this?" He demanded.

That got her out of the stupor.

"I didn’t do it on purpose! I’ve only done this once before, and by accident!" She sat heavily on a chair by the door. "I’m really sorry, but it’s not like I got any formal training with this. That’s why I didn’t want to do it in the first place..." She hid her face in her hands.

After a moment, she heard Hux clearing his throat.

"I apologise. I shouldn’t shout at you."

Rey looked up at him.

"How… How are you doing? I hope I didn’t…" She stopped, unsure of how to end.

Hux waved his hand dismissively.

"Oh, no, I’m fine, they just overreacted. I’m going back to my room after I am done with… all this," he gestured at the tray, disgust back on his face.

Rey stood up to get a better look at his breakfast, not noticing his surprised expression, and hummed.

"Yeah, it’s not the greatest. Apparently, that’s what happens when you leave meal planning to medical droids." She snickered. "You know what - leave it, I’ll bring you something nicer from the canteen."

Hux frowned at this.

"You don’t have to do anything for me."

She looked up at him with sadness.

"I know."

And just like that, she left the room.

***

Hux couldn’t figure her out. He never expected her to be like Snoke or Ren, of course, but she was different from what he had heard of the Jedi, too. Maybe it was her inexperience or the fact that she didn’t start training until she was older. She was clearly undisciplined and stubborn, and yet strangely soft and full of this weird optimism he wouldn’t expect from a desert rat. He still felt offended by her sudden interest in him, but the more he thought about it, the more it dawned on him, how her compassion or pity or whatever it was could be useful to him. And as much as he hated them, Force users were powerful allies. He still was unsure if, in the end, Dameron would keep his promise and let him go, or - if he did - on what terms. 

Yes, this was an angle he could work with. He just needed to avoid falling for her charms.

He got up and dressed in his clothes from the previous day, then shoved the contents of his tray into the bin, hoping the Jedi girl would keep her word. 

And she did - she came soon after, balancing a tray overflowing with food.

"That’s a little too much," he commented while she moved the food and cups of caff to the table, completely ignoring his notes that were placed there.

"Oh, I know! I brought my breakfast, too,” she chirped in response, then looked up at him. "What? I didn’t want you to wait until I finish, so I thought I could eat here. Is that… okay?" she asked seeing him clearly taken aback by this.

After a small fight with himself, Hux relaxed and nodded. Allies. He needed her as his ally, and if he could get her loyalty, he would be safe.

"It’s alright. I was just surprised you would want to share a meal with me, that’s all," he said a little too honestly.

He could see she wanted to say something, but she only hummed and sat down to eat.

If this continued, he wouldn’t get bored anytime soon, he thought, reminding himself not to fall for this cheerful persona she put up - she was as deadly as Ren, probably even more.

***

This developed into a tradition, of sorts - whenever Rey was on-base, she would share a breakfast with him. She also took it upon herself to interview him before any mission the Resistance organised, asking additional questions and often reminding him of details he had missed before. At first, he thought this was something Dameron ordered, a way of checking he really wasn’t hiding anything else, but as the time went by it became clear that she was just looking for an excuse to spend time with him.

He should feel proud of his plan going so well, but it felt a little hollow. He had to admit to himself that spending time with her wasn’t unpleasant - she was smart and quick-witted, her questions were to the point and precise. Rey was also quite brilliant with technology, even if she lacked formal education, and explaining his designs to her didn’t feel like a waste of time, which was like a breath of fresh air in this band of rebels. She knew what she wanted, but for the life of him, he couldn’t figure out what she wanted from him. 

Hux didn’t have a habit of lying to himself, he knew he was quickly getting used to her presence. Almost started getting fond of her, so he wasn’t complaining about her visits.

***

And then came the morning when she didn’t arrive with breakfast. She was standing in the middle of his workroom looking very tense.

"What’s happening, Rey?" he asked full of concern.

"Somebody let it slip about your presence on the base. The rumour is spreading through the Resistance like wildfire."

So it had finally happened. He wondered how long he had, and now he knew. Not long.

"Oh," he just said.

"I’m taking you away from here. Please pack as quickly as possible, I want to leave before midday," she ordered with determination in her voice.

Hux frowned at her.

"Did you consult with Dameron before you came?" He asked tentatively.

"I… well, I told him I’m taking you somewhere safe," she said casually.

"And you think that’s going to work?"

"Nobody said you have to stop providing us with information - I’m just changing your location to make killing you harder," she said in a dark voice.

Hux sighed and started packing while she paced around restlessly.

"You know," he said, not looking up from his bag, "you could go to the cantina and fetch us some food for travel."

"I already did, everything is on the ship."

He hummed in response and finished packing.

***

The hangar was empty when they took off, no one to say goodbye to - he knew nobody here (besides Mitaka and his girlfriend, and he thought of leaving him some kind of a note, but in the end forgot) and Rey was coming back.

He expected to travel in the famous Millenium Falcon, but the ship Rey took him to was smaller and more unassuming.

As if sensing his thoughts, Rey explained, "The Falcon is on Bespin, it went back to Lando."

They left the planet in silence, and while Rey was preparing to set a new course for them, he finally asked what he had in mind.

"Why are you doing this, Rey?"

"Because you are an important asset to us, and you were offered a deal, and I intend to help the Resistance keep their word,"

"Sounds like you rehearsed that one time too many. You’re not a bad liar, but you didn’t even try. Why are you helping me, Rey?"

She sat in silence, checking all the systems before the ship finally jumped into hyperspace.

Despite his intent stare, it didn’t seem like she was planning to give him any other answer.

"Rey. You know that by your side’s standards, I am not considered a good man?"

The only sign she heard him was the slight pursing her lips. Hux shook his head.

"If not for a slight miscalculation on my part, and this whole ‘spy’ business, I would be dead. Same as Snoke, Pryde, Palpatine, and Ren," he noticed her wince at that last name and filed the information away for later. "If not for stupid luck, I would have been killed before the final battle, and you would have never met me. So why are you so adamant on keeping me safe?"

She finally faced him, a strange fire in her eyes.

"Because you were never given a chance - you were raised and brainwashed just like any other Stormtrooper, you were made to believe your future and happiness was only with the First Order. That there was no other way. You were in so deep, for so long, that you only knew the lies they fed you. You were manipulated your whole life, everything you wanted dangled before you until they snatched it away. All of it just out of reach, but never within your grasp. They took your choice. I want to give it back. You deserve that much.”

"Ah," he finally said, his face a stony mask. "So it’s always this, always compassion with you."

He stood up and marched to the kitchenette. But starships this small make it impossible to hide, so she followed just behind him.

"Armitage," she started, but he didn’t let her finish.

"I told you, I don’t need it. I don’t want your pity or your compassion," he said, absently preparing a quick breakfast. He hadn’t cooked since he was a cadet at school, he mused. At least something useful had come of it.

Rey rolled her eyes.

"But everything I saw... that’s what led me to try and get to know you better. And what made me like you."

His head snapped back to her.

"You like me?" he asked, taken aback.

"Yes."

"Even though you know what I have done?"

"Yes. And I believe that you can do so much more, serving a better cause! Because you are intelligent and capable and loyal. All you need is a chance."

He looked at her, completely dumbfounded. And she… she just took the sandwich he just made from his hand with a small smile and returned to the cockpit.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not everything is perfect, but they are getting there. Sometimes taking a two steps back after a step forward.
> 
> And Armitage Hux has questions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost forgot to post this XD I'm not used to having a finished work to post :D Today I realised I don't have to wait for another fic to be written before I started posting, and I sent the first chapter to [Erulisse17](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Erulisse17/pseuds/Erulisse17) who is - as usual, disregard yesterday's Reylo vampire one-shot - the best beta ever and beta-read this chapter, too. She did the whole fic, actually, but I'm going to mention her every single chapter.
> 
> You know who is another absolute hero? Aszka, who made me all the moodboards. 
> 
> When I'm done with posting this, I'm going to update my Reylux longfic (the chapter has been written for a few weeks actually) Bed, Breakfast, and Black Magic and then I'm starting with my next Reyux: this time it will be a Tomb Raider AU :>
> 
> In the meantime, I hope you like a little angst. It will get worse before it gets better.

When they finally came out of hyperspace near their destination, Hux checked the coordinates and frowned - not that he knew all the planets in the galaxy, but this one seemed completely unfamiliar. He didn’t know what he expected, but it certainly wasn’t this.

"What planet is this, Rey?" he asked curiously.

"I don’t remember the name, to be honest," she said, punching in a new set of coordinates. "Leia told me about it - it’s kind of a last resort base from the times of the Rebel Alliance. They set it up in case they failed and some of the leaders were still alive - to run here and lay low for a few years. Fortunately, it was never needed, but it was still kept a secret after the Battle of Yavin. Leia gave me the coordinates during my training - just in case we lost and I needed a place to hide. Because the Resistance could scatter and build up again, but I was the only Jedi they had." 

She didn’t look at him, carefully focused on entering the atmosphere. "It’s a backwater planet, to be honest - there are a few settlements on the other half of the globe, and they are quite primitive. Most of it is forest, the climate is very mild, no valuable resources to speak of - at some point it will be settled more when somebody decides to use it as farmland, but nobody in the nearest village really needs it at the moment." 

She met his gaze with her own somber one. "As far as I know, nobody from the current leadership of the Resistance knows about this base. There is basically no ship traffic in this system, so you should be safe."

He nodded.

"How long do I have to stay here?" he asked finally.

Rey looked at him with surprise.

"Stay here? What do you mean?"

"This sounds awfully lot like an exile Dameron promised me earlier," he explained bitterly.

Rey looked at him with sadness.

"I can take you wherever you want. Coruscant, even. But… This is the only place where I know you will be safe. Please, give it a try, at least for a little bit. In a few years," she ignored Hux’s scoff, "we will think about something else. I promise."

He scrubbed his forehead in thought.

"Please, tell me you’re not going to just abandon me here to figure everything out on my own," he pleaded in a tone that was too close to a whine for his liking.

Rey laughed at this.

"Of course not! I’ll help you to set everything up and bring any supplies you need, and I will be visiting you as often as I can!" She promised and Hux breathed a sigh of relief.

"Okay. Okay, let’s do this."

***

The base didn’t need much work, but it was certainly too big for one person, so they focused on adapting it to his needs. It was well stocked, even if it was a mishmash of old and new technology - everything was at least in a usable state. They were working on his kitchenette - Rey was rewiring everything just to be safe, while Hux was busy painting his new furniture in the other part of the room when he finally asked something that had bothered him for a long time.

"Rey…"

"Hmm?"

"Why are you so adamant on redeeming me?" He could see that her hands had stopped moving, but she didn’t look away from the pump. "You said I deserve a chance, but why me? There are so many others… Your friend, Finn, for example - he wasn’t  _ given _ a chance, he took it and fought for it and won. Why are you so bent on… saving me? When you know full well I don’t even want it?"

He saw her shoulders sag, but she still didn’t respond.

"Who didn’t you save?" He finally asked, voicing his suspicion for the first time.

When she finally did turn around, she ran from the room without a glance in his direction - but from the small glimpse of her face he could see she was crying.

He felt a sharp pang of sadness - not only for her, but also because her reaction only confirmed that it had never been about him. She felt guilty about something and he was her way of redeeming herself. Armitage was sure she didn’t do it consciously, but it still hurt.

***

Rey returned after about half an hour and went back to rewiring without a word. Hux decided to let it slide for a while at least.

During the last meal of the day, when she still hadn’t said a word, he figured that was long enough.

"Rey…" he started in a gentle tone.

"You wouldn’t understand," she muttered, her mouth full of food.

"Why?"

"Because nobody would! It’s all so complicated, even I don’t fully understand it. So how could anyone else? Especially you."

He sat in silence for a moment, thinking about her words.

"It seems you do really want to share it with somebody, but you haven’t. Perhaps you underestimate me. I’m the most hated man in the galaxy, I doubt I have much room to judge you."

She just looked at him with despair. If he pushed her just right…

"Rey… trust me."

Tears started falling from her eyes and she looked down at her almost empty bowl.

"Ben," she said weakly.

It sounded like something important, something monumental - but Armitage still had no idea who she was talking about.

"Who?" he asked dumbly.

Her hands clenched into fists.

"Ben Solo," she said louder, more desperately.

It took a moment for the realization to hit him. He was suddenly flooded with a wave of mixed feelings - disbelief, betrayal, (fear,) anger and Maker knows what else. He stood abruptly, only for her to run away again. Still somewhat in shock, he sat down and stayed like that for a long time. Finally, he put the leftovers away and prepared to sleep.

The Last Jedi and Kylo kriffing Ren. It was both surprising and shockingly - almost cliche. Like in a cheap holodrama, with star crossed lovers, total opposites, the galaxy coming between them. No wonder she couldn’t share it with her friends, or with him.

Then another thing hit him - Kylo Ren was dead, and she couldn’t even mourn him.

As much as he hated the late Supreme Leader, he couldn’t stop feeling pain thinking about Rey. Did she have to kill him herself? Or did he, in the end, betray everyone again, and join her against Palpatine? There were so many questions he needed, he didn’t want to ask, but the more he thought about it, the more his heart tightened. Maybe that meant he was going soft, but he couldn’t help but feel… compassion.

***

Sleep never came easily to him - not in the First Order, when his brain was too busy to allow it, not after Exegol when he was fighting with the guilt of betraying everything he stood for, especially when compared to his previous life, he had barely anything to do. And even today, after a whole day of renovating his new quarters, his head was buzzing with thoughts about Rey’s confession. He tried listening to every sound, worried that she wasn’t coming back. He was glad they were still sleeping in the ship, so she couldn’t just leave him here to fend for himself. 

Not that she would do that.

Probably.

In the end, exhaustion finally overtook him, and he fell asleep without hearing her return to the ship.

***

He woke up early, after another nightmare. After getting ready for the day, he went to the kitchenette, half expecting her to be there, as usual - but it was empty. He prepared breakfast for both of them, and then went out looking for her.

She hadn’t gotten far - she slept curled up on some old crates in the main hangar, clearly as exhausted as he was. At first, he wanted to leave her there, but quickly thought better of it - she looked uncomfortable and he could see her shivering in the morning cold. He shook her gently. She sprung up, instantly awake and ready for a fight, clearly not used to being touched. After a few seconds, she blinked and relaxed, sagging back down on the crate and rubbing her face.

“Come on, I made us breakfast," he said, turning back to the ship.

Breakfast was… silent. Neither of them knew how to proceed after the previous day’s events, and Rey probably didn’t even want to. He wouldn’t be surprised - he pushed her too hard, he could see that now.

Whatever her motives, she had been kind to him. She had most likely saved his life, and he should be more grateful than he’d been so far.

That’s why he decided to do something he didn’t do often (or really, ever, now that he thought about it) - apologise to her. After they finally finished in the kitchen and moved to fixing the pump in the fresher, he finally gathered his courage.

"Rey," he started and she looked up from the pipes she’d been disassembling, "I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pushed you so hard. I can’t say I understand," he swallowed, but continued nevertheless, "but I know I caused you unnecessary pain, and for that I am sorry."

She looked at him with surprise, then took a shuddering breath.

"You really mean it," she said with wonder in her voice. It wasn’t a question - of course, blasted Force-users.

"Yes, I do."

Then she did something completely unexpected - she hugged him. At first, he stiffened, not used to such a gesture, but then he relaxed and hugged her back - she probably needed it, he could tell that even without space magic.

He couldn’t remember the last time someone hugged him - he usually avoided touching people and felt uncomfortable the few times he was forced to do so.

But this… this wasn’t uncomfortable. And that was new for Armitage Hux.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yeah. Important questions asked! I love not only Hux and Rey, but also all them broken children: Ben, Rose, Finn, Poe... And I couldn't have left Ben forgotten. We don't do things like this in this house <3


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get a little better between out pair - they have some semblance of a plan.  
> Life is good.  
> For now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Life's shit so I decided not to wait till evening with the update. Also, I have the rest of the week off, so I have time ;) 
> 
> Beta read by the irreplaceable [Erulisse17](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Erulisse17/pseuds/Erulisse17), and the moodobard was done, yes, you guessed it, by [Aszka the Moodboard Artist](https://archiveofourown.org/users/glait)! I love them both.
> 
> Stay safe, lovelies 💜

Things went back to normal after that, more or less. They worked together on the living space, which was slowly turning to be more comfortable than he could imagine. Rey repaired and programmed several droids, who were tasked with cleaning and attending the greenhouse she set up so that he could have fresh vegetables and fruits.

She also gathered a long list of things she still needed to get - spare parts, clothes, sheets, more seeds for the greenhouse, first aid kits, more spare parts. With every item added to her list, he felt her departure growing closer and his dread growing stronger. Of course, she promised she was coming back, but would she? Wouldn’t it be easier for her to just leave him here to rot, to be forgotten probably Dameron intended?

_"And what about me?"_

_"Well, after we’re all done with everything, which will undoubtedly take several years, we can arrange you a peaceful retirement on some remote planet," Dameron said with a dismissive wave of a hand._

_"That sounds remarkably similar to exile."_

_Dameron sighed and looked at him over his folded hands._

_"The galaxy is big, but your face was broadcasted through its entirety when you gave the order to destroy the Hosnian System. I admit, the red light is quite unflattering, but it made you quite recognizable. We will do everything we can, but you have to be realistic: if you want to survive, you need to hide so deep and so well, that not even a Mandalorian bounty hunter can find you. Even if I don’t exile you, you should do it yourself, if only to stay alive."_

Apparently Rey thought the same, even if she was kinder about it. 

Finally, the day came. He has already been using sleeping quarters in the base while Rey slept on the ship, but this evening neither of them was in a hurry to leave, prolonging their last evening together and avoiding the topic of her departure on the next day.

It was Hux, in the end, who couldn’t bear it anymore.

"Will you be alright? You won’t be in trouble with Dameron?" He asked.

Rey shrugged.

"I don’t think so? It’s not like I snuck you out, or used any force - I just told him I was taking you off-planet. If he needs anything, I can contact you for additional information, but I think we already have most of what we needed." She snorted. "And it’s not like he can punish me in any way - I’m the only Jedi he has, well, at least until Finn ends his training, and I’m not really, formally part of the Resistance, either."

Armitage nodded.

"And what about you? What do you plan to do?" 

He exhaled at that question - it was the one he’s been asking himself for some time now, and still had no answer.

"No idea. Probably sink slowly into madness."

"Don’t say things like that!" She took his hands in hers and squeezed. “I lived all my life alone. It wasn’t as bad as here, but close. I didn’t let anyone touch me for years, because touch meant pain, and everyone I met wanted to rob me, kill me or use me. I… I know how it is to be _left_ , and I promise, I would never do that to you. I’ll be gone for about a week, then come back with everything I can find from our list. Hopefully, I’ll have something better than the communicator I left in the kitchen - it’s encrypted, but it’s old and shitty, so I would prefer you didn’t use it unless you’re in danger. Then… It’s hard to say, I need to train with Finn and there’s still so much to be done, but I will try to come back as soon as possible, but it’ll be two months at the latest."

Hux stared at her, stunned. It was still so hard for him to accept that she really, sincerely _cared_. He didn’t know how he felt about it. 

Rey wasn’t done with her tirade yet.

“I promise, I’ll try to get you some transport of your own - we’ll start with a speeder, so you can travel safely on the planet, then I’ll try to get you a ship. I’m not sure how, yet, because I don’t exactly have my own credits or anything, but we’ll think of something."

"I thought…" he started, but had to clear his throat before he could continue, "I thought you wanted me to stay on this planet."

She closed her eyes for a moment, her expression pained.

"Yes, for now - every civilized planet knows what you look like and leaving now would put you in danger. In a few years," Hux winced at that, but she continued, "we might be able to disguise you enough so you can travel on your own." She looked down at their joined hands. "I am not and don’t want to be your prison guard. I just want you to be safe." 

And then she hugged him for just a moment and then left for her ship without another word.

She was gone for six and a half days. 

She brought most of the things they needed to finish repairs of his new home.

Three days later she left again, and he felt it a little more keenly than before.

As promised, she returned a month later.

And then another.

Then, two months. 

Rey never stayed for more than a week, usually leaving after three days, but he found that he treasured every moment with her. And he actually didn’t mind the loneliness that much, if he had her to look forward to.

***

On her third visit, Rey brought him a speeder - it was pretty roughed up, but after they spent some time with it, she was able to make it work. They celebrated with a small feast and a bottle of wine she brought him from one of her travels. 

"I talked with Rose, she is one of the main tech people for the fleet now. She said they could use your expertise and designs to create ships for the Resistance," she announced joyfully while they sat on the roof of the base after the dinner.

Hux grimaced.

"That won’t be so easy with me being stuck here, without any easy way of contacting them. I’m used to working with a team of designers but like this…" he trailed off, gesturing with his hand at the vast expanse of the forest surrounding them.

Rey sighed.

"Yes, I know, alright? It’s not what you are used to. But they are pretty capable people, they can provide you with the requirements and when you’re done I can bring your work to them. If they have any questions, I can bring them next time." She rolled her eyes at his skeptical grimace. "It will be slow going, but it would give you something to do while I’m gone and they can pay…"

"Oh, because I have so many ways to spend credits here!" he scoffed bitterly.

She looked away, biting her lower lip and frowning.

"Listen… spaceships aren’t exactly cheap, okay? I have no income, even the ship I’m using now doesn’t belong to me. I have no other idea how to get you one, okay?"

He wanted to mentally kick himself - after a lifetime of military command, where every order and whim was instantly fulfilled by underlings in the First Order, he never had to put effort into… _gentling_ his words. 

"I’m sorry. You’re right. I didn’t mean to offend you."

She just shrugged, still not looking at him."If it doesn’t work, it doesn’t. But I don’t have any better idea at the moment, so let’s just… try."

Taking a moment to consider his tone, he nodded. "Of course."

***

Rey returned a week later with specifications for ships and orbital stations, and with equipment - Maker knew the communicator available in the base was too old to be of use. It looked like First Order tech.

He didn’t ask where or how she got it. It was easier that way.

As they were eating dinner, he asked half-jokingly, “Does that mean you will visit more often?”

Rey laughed.

“Maker, I wish!” She took a sip of her caf. “But there’s a lot happening right now. I’m scouting for a new location to start a Jedi academy, and if I find one, we’ll be looking for people willing to learn.”

Armitage hummed.

“More Jedi? Is that a good idea?”

Rey grimaced.

“I know what you’re thinking. And you’d be right if we were to follow the pre-Empire Jedi. But we’re not, that’s one thing we already agreed on. No taking young children unless they are in danger. No ‘no attachments’ rule, because Maker knows it didn’t do them any good in the end.”

“Didn’t they put these rules for a reason, to stop people falling into the dark side?” he asked with a frown.

Rey shrugged.

“I have no idea. The Order was so ancient, nobody really knows. But I have Jedi texts that are as old as the Order, if not older, and there is nothing like that. Deciphering them was a bitch and I’m still not sure about some parts, but it’s… It just makes sense, you know?”

“I really, really don’t,” Hux answered with a laugh and was rewarded with a wide smile from her.

“I promise I’ll try to come back as often as possible, but there are still so many things to be done.”

He chuckled again.

“Yeah, I saw that little shopping list your friend prepared for me.”

***

When she was leaving, she hugged him tightly.

“Don’t forget about me,” he asked quietly.

“I would never,” she promised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, it's nice, isn't it? ;) Unfortunately, the next one will be considerably more angsty.  
> But the HEA is promised, so don't worry.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey's absence extends and Hux is left alone with his thoughts for too long.  
> It's not pretty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta read by the work titan [Erulisse17](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Erulisse17/pseuds/Erulisse17) and moodbard by my precious [Aszka the Moodboard Artist](https://archiveofourown.org/users/glait) 💜

Everything seemed fine, was fine… until suddenly, it wasn’t.

Keeping his mind occupied with designs helped, but the longer Rey was away, the more often his thoughts strayed into the dark. She usually visited every three or four weeks, staying at least three days, helping him with repairs and upgrades or just keeping him company.

But there were times when she was away longer and every time he found this separation a little more unbearable.

When her absence exceeded a month and a half, he started getting nervous. He spent the last two weeks perfecting and adjusting the latest projects and drafts until there was nothing to be done and he noticed them getting a little worse every time he touched them.

He programmed and reprogrammed several droids.

He started writing a journal but stopped after three days of nothing changing.

The routine, so welcome and soothing in his past life, now became almost unbearable.

And then it indeed became unbearable.

Hux started spending more and more time just sitting on the roof of the base, watching the sky and… thinking.

His own thoughts became his worst enemy when he started analyzing and overanalyzing Rey’s latest visit. Did he misread the signs? Did he overstep?

Something has been brewing between them for quite some time. Armitage still couldn’t understand why she would want to befriend and protect him, not really, but during the last two or three visits, the dynamic between them had started changing. He thought… he thought that maybe she felt something more, as he did.

He wouldn’t say it was love, not yet. He wouldn’t even call it an emotion exactly, but more like... potential. A possibility he wanted to explore in this new life, new galaxy.

And she seemed equally interested - he wasn’t a Force user able to read her emotions, nor was he the best at interpreting the body language, but even he had noticed the distance between them - the physical distance when they talked, worked, walked - seemed to be closing, Rey’s smiles became sweeter, and there seemed to be… something in her eyes.

Had he read that wrong? Did he scare her away? Did she decide just to leave him?

She was gone for nine weeks and he could finally admit he was afraid.

Afraid for himself. He never pretended to be a good man - he knew he was selfish and it was eating him now, that his first fear was for himself when she was out there, working to make her galaxy a better place and getting rid of his former allies who tried to do what the Imperial Remnant did in his father’s days. Rey was the last Jedi the Resistance had, and they were working her hard. The possibility of her being wounded in the field was quite likely - kriff, during more than one visit she actually came with bacta patches and spent her  _ convalescence _ with him instead in the hospital.

If she got hurt, if she died, nobody would know where he was.

Nobody would come.

Nobody would  _ care. _

Rey was gone for ten weeks and he was afraid of being left. Being forgotten.

What if she realised he was no  _ Ben Solo _ (this name became a curse in his mind as quickly as Kylo Ren’s did), that she couldn’t save him either - or that she didn’t want to, in the end. That she was done with broken men and wanted someone  _ normal. _

Hux knew his thoughts were bitter and born from depression and anxiety, but couldn’t do anything to stop himself from spiraling deeper and deeper into darkness.

He finally let himself think why a person like her would  _ care _ , would  _ love _ a monster like Kylo Ren. She had to be aware of how much blood he had on his hands (the amount of blood staining his own hands was immaterial at the moment, because Rey had been gone for eleven weeks), how he tortured people with her sacred Force, how he hunted his own uncle, tortured her and her friends, how Ren treated him.

Rey had been gone for eleven weeks and five days now and his reserves were running low - both literal and metaphorical. Buried deep in his dark thoughts, he forgot to eat and to hunt, one of the droids broke (or did he break it?) and he couldn’t find it in himself to repair it. He knew he was going insane with every hour he spent alone, but couldn’t do anything about it.

Rey didn’t respond to the message he finally decided to send after the tenth week. Or was it the eleventh? Time became hard to track at some point. He knew he could mark days or check them on his comm, but it was too hard.

She was either dead or decided to give up on him, so it didn’t matter anyway - he would die here, alone.

There was no point to anything.

He would listen for the sound of a landing ship no matter what he was doing, sometimes listened so hard that he almost heard it. But it always was his imagination. He would wake up in the middle of the night and run out to see - but it was always only a dream.

Sometimes he would spend hours, almost a full day just sitting on the grassy roof of the base, looking into the sky. He was making himself sick, not eating enough, skipping everything but the most necessary parts of the grooming routine, letting his beard grow, and constantly waiting.

For her.

For relief.

The edge of the abyss was getting closer and closer and he knew it, felt it.

And finally, the day came.

He was just looking at his supplies contemplating how long he can stretch them without leaving the base, that had almost felt like home, to hunt, when he heard it.

At first, he thought that he imagined it, again. That he finally went crazy and his mind really conjured that sound. But then he felt the telltale shake of the ground that could only be caused by a landing ship and broke into a run.

And there she was, looking like hell, staggering out of an unfamiliar ship. He ran straight to her, hugging her without a second thought. After a moment of surprise, she embraced him back, letting a small sigh of relief. After several heartbeats of just… being together, he finally moved away, keeping her at arm's length, looking at her with worry.

“You don’t look so well.“

She snorted.

“You don’t say. I’m sorry I was gone so long, I…“

Hux rubbed her arm soothingly.

“Don’t worry about it now. I’m just glad you’re here.“

Rey looked at him and moved her hand to stroke his cheek with a strange tenderness in her eyes.

“You don’t look so well yourself.“

He averted his eyes.

“Yeah, it wasn’t… great.“

“I know, I’m sorry. We’ll have to come up with some kind of solution,“ she replied with guilt in her voice.

“That would be nice.“

They stayed in silence for a moment.

“Can I help you unpack?“ He finally asked, desperate to say, do  _ anything _ .

“Yeah,“ she breathed with relief.

They took their time with the supplies, silence between them a little more awkward than before. After they were done unloading and most everything was put away, Rey proposed they prepare a small feast to celebrate her return. The domesticity and normalcy of the task relaxed them both enough that they started joking again as if nothing was out of ordinary.

And it was.

And it wasn’t.

And both of them knew it.

As if she planned for this, Rey prepared a few treats she had procured, along with a delicious meal and some rich Corellian wine. It was not only a delight for his palate but also soothed his frazzled nerves. But as amazing as this brush with civilization felt, it was all superficial, and he was well aware of it.

After their meal, they left the room to their usual spot on the roof. Rey admitted sitting here, staring at the stars was still one of her favourite things (after food, of course), even now that she actually could leave the planet and travel the galaxy.

When they were settled, a fresh bottle between them, he finally dared to ask.

“How long are you staying this time?“

She hummed.

“At least a month, longer if I can - unless you grow tired of me sooner, that is,“ she answered, keeping her eyes on the darkening sky.

Armitage laughed quietly.

“I doubt I will.“

Rey smiled but said nothing.

After a few more moments of silence, she finally started telling what exactly happened in her absence. About a mission that went all kind of wrong, getting injured and losing her ship, communicator, and everything except the clothes on her back and her lightsaber. Then she had to make her way to her friends, through not-so-friendly territory, another injury, and more enemies before she was finally recovered by the Resistance.

Armie understood, he really did. And he was ashamed that he had selfishly only thought about what would happen to him, if she… didn’t come back.

“What do you think - how long it will take you to sort out this mess?“ He finally asked.

Her expression soured.

“Honestly, I have no idea. It’s not just the last twenty or forty years - there’s so much neglect and crime in the galaxy, left us by the Republic. How are we supposed to solve all of it? We got rid of almost all major post-FO groups, and the last few are going to be wiped out sooner or later. We’re observing their movements just in case we missed something hiding in the shadows. But local warlords and crime syndicates, some of them a few centuries old… they’re something else. The Empire either kept them in check by brute force or made them submit and used them for their own means. But either way, they’re free to do whatever they like now. It’s all too much and we are too few.“ 

There was real distress and sorrow in her voice. “If the Jedi at the height of their power couldn’t do anything to stop the slave trade, the exploitation and atrocities happening everywhere, what can I do? I have only Finn and what’s left of the Resistance. The rest are trying to form a new government, yet another republic, but it’s all so weak and fragile at the moment. Even more now than after the Empire fell. I’m afraid it’ll all fall apart again, and everything we lost and sacrificed will be for nothing.“

Armitage sat beside her, at a loss for words.

He  _ knew  _ the answer - he was taught it since a young age, drilled into his mind by his father. The First Order was to bring the peace and order back to the galaxy, make everyone submit, to be ruled with a firm, but just hand.

And yet he knew it to be untrue - he learned it rising through the ranks, that neither peace nor order was created from their rule, but told himself that when he was in charge, when he finally had enough power, he would make good on their promise to the galaxy.

And then he learned that his precious organisation was only a ploy to help raise the Sith army, yet again giving the throne to yet another mad magician in a black cape. Ren was bad enough with his volatile personality and the tendency to break expensive equipment, but the Emperor… Palpatine was a walking nightmare. He should have stayed dead and Hux was sorely disappointed in Ren (though not surprised) when he decided to submit to the old wraith.

Yes, ex-General of the First Order Armitage Hux knew the answer - and he knew it was wrong.

But he didn’t have any other to give this desperate woman he cared very much for, so he kept quiet.

Finally, Rey sighed heavily and looked at him.

“And… what about you? How did you manage?“

He pursed his lips for a moment, then decided to just be honest.

“Not… great,” he admitted. “At first it was okay, then I was doing my best to keep myself occupied, as best as I could. But then I just ran out of the things to do. Sometimes I would be afraid of what happened to you, other times I would be just scared to be left here alone, to rot. Sometimes, I wondered if you did it on purpose.”

“Armitage, I would never!” Rey interrupted him, but he only waved his hand.

“I know this, rationally. But as I said, I wasn’t great, and not everything was rational. I would really appreciate it if you helped me find a way to avoid this in the future.”

Suddenly, Rey rose on her knees and hugged him tightly.

“Don’t worry, I will, I promise.” Her voice was muffled by his collar.

She stayed there for a few moments, and Armie let the comfort of her closeness wash over him. 

They avoided heavier topics for the rest of the evening, trying to just enjoy each other’s presence.

It was nice.

It was very nice.

Armie couldn’t help but wish it could last forever. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yeah, this happened. I'm sorry. I hope you are okay - only last chapter left, I really hope not to disappoint you guys 😬


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter - last hurdle, last things to explain to each other. From here things can only get better for our pair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, the journey comes to an end. This work started to be written precisely on December 19th 2019 and wouldn't be finished if not for the support of my lovely friends: Raven, Amber, Larissa, Jessie - just to name a few, and my sprinter friends who pushed me to finish it: An, Pryvian and Gwyn. Writing this story helped me to deal with grief - letting Rey do the same - at least a little. We are not okay - not after TROS, not after Hux's waste, not after things in real life that happened just after TROS and then in 2019.  
> But things are going to get better. I hope this fic, a little heavier than my usual stuff, made your lives a little better.
> 
> Ben Solo is present here only in a mention(s), but was important enough I asked Aszka to put him on the moodboard.
> 
> Beta read by the best beta friend and the blessing of my life [Erulisse17](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Erulisse17/pseuds/Erulisse17) whose works you definitely need to read (if you don't mind Reylo) and moodbard made by my precious [Aszka the Moodboard Artist](https://archiveofourown.org/users/glait) 💜

The thing about the dark thoughts in a man’s mind is that once they’re sown, if left unattended, if not weeded out early, they grow bigger and bigger, clouding judgement and taking up more and more space.

And Armitage Hux had plenty sprouting from his period of solitude.

Rey’s arrival helped to hide and quiet them, but they were still there, tainting his subconscious and his dreams. As the novelty of having her  _ there _ waned, the more often was he haunted by them, the more he doubted the honesty of her intentions.

If Rey sensed his dark moods, she didn’t say anything.

It was only a question of time until  _ everything _ he was holding back would burst forth.

It all happened about two weeks in her stay, when they finished furnishing a room in the base for her. She had never expressed a desire to have her own space there before, she always just slept on her ship. Did it mean she wanted to spend more time with him? He should be happy.

He really should.

But that also meant he would have to remain here, on this wretched planet in a barely liveable post-Rebellion base. And the thought was unbearable.

Afterwards, he couldn’t really recall what started the argument. It must have been something he said, or several things because that, apparently, was who he was: an idiot who lacked any sort of self-preservation instinct by goading every Force-user he met into a confrontation.

He could probably make saint Luke Skywalker himself go ballistic.

Rey was very patient, but even she finally couldn’t stand his behaviour.

“What’s exactly your problem, Armitage?” She snarled in frustration.

He stiffened.

“What’s  _ my _ problem?” He hissed. “ _ You _ are my problem!”

“What? Me? Why?” Rey was clearly surprised and disoriented.

“Because… You crashed into my life without any thought, took me to this damned skughole planet and then left me here to rot!”

“I did  _ what?” _ She waved her hands in frustration. “Can you even hear yourself? If it weren’t for me, you would be in a real prison or - more probably - dead!”

“And now I’m stuck here, in exile, not jailed, and not free, just waiting for this all to… end!” He snapped.

“How can you say that? I promised you it won’t happen again - I have a plan!” He could see tears in her eyes and hear her voice breaking, but it was too late to stop.

He just felt so tired, tired of doubt, of uncertainty, of…

“Rey,” he started, then stopped to rub his face, “I am not your project. I am not someone to be saved, to be redeemed. I can’t be and I don’t want to. I stand by the things I did, and even if I didn’t - it wouldn’t matter. You said it yourself - you couldn’t save Ren. So now you’re trying to save me. It just doesn’t work that way.”

Rey's whole body recoiled as if he hit her. Suddenly her voice grew cold and hard.

“Don’t you dare…”

“I’m sure you wanted to hide him, keep him safe until he could be reinstalled into society, didn’t you? Or maybe start a brand new Jedi Temple together in this very place!”

“You have no idea…”

“But then he went and died,” he continued with all the venom he had, “and you just… jumped on an occasion to fix another broken man, didn’t you? But I refuse to be a replacement.”

“Armitage, you are not…” she tried to cut in, but he didn’t let her.

“I will never understand your kind - Force-users. Normal people don’t have this… pretext when doing things. With you, it’s always ‘the Force this, the Force that, the Force wills it, turning to the dark side of the Force.’ It’s like you have this one excuse that explains everything. Like you should be forgiven for everything you’ve done just because you were on the dark side, so when you turn to the light everything is perfectly fine, all the evils forgiven. Other people aren’t granted this.” 

He didn’t even notice when he started walking from one side of the room to the other during this tirade. But now he stopped in front of her, the finest General Hux snarl on his face. His voice cold, he finally asked the question that had plagued him all this time: “How could you? How could you forgive him for what he did - to you, to everyone else? How could you overlook all the blood on his hands?”

Rey was so close, he almost could feel her tremble with every hurtful word he spewed. He knew it was wrong, but it felt just too good to stop.

“I…” She swallowed. “I looked into his mind and saw the heart of a man - a frightened, hurt, lonely man - under all that… burden. Under all his masks,” she responded quietly, looking into his eyes searchingly.

It was his turn to recoil.

“That’s it? That was enough to risk your life and others to try to save him?”

“Yes,” she answered simply, firmly.

“Even if you saw it, how were you going to explain that he’s a changed man to all his victims? To his mother, wife of Han Solo he murdered? To Poe Dameron whom he tortured? To all the people who died by his order during his reign as the Supreme Leader?”

“I… I told you you wouldn’t understand.”

“Well, I don’t! But maybe that’s not because it’s too hard, but because you’re just wrong about him!”

Seeing how tears appeared on her face and how her lips trembled, he thought she would run and finally really leave him to die. But then her face changed, a strange determination appearing on it. She made two quick steps and before he could react, her hands reached for his face, tugging it down to hers. He almost - strangely enough - expected a kiss, but he was wrong again: their foreheads touched and suddenly his whole world was filled with pain.

His mind was flooded, filled with swirling and changing images. Deserts, space, ships, forests, islands, caves, and everywhere - the face of Kylo Ren. Of Ben Solo. A face he’d known, but rarely thought about, and has never seen… like this. And then it all became too much and he succumbed into blackness.

When he regained his consciousness with a gasp, he was lying on the floor, his head on Rey’s knees, her tear-streaked face above him.

“Armie? Oh, thank the Maker, I’m so sorry Armie, I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have done it, I’m so so sorry…”

Everything hurt, but his backside hurt the most - it must have hit the ground when he fainted.

“I…” He stopped to clear his throat. “I would appreciate it if you never did that again.”

“Yes, of course, I’m so sorry…”

He just waved his hand and tried to sit up, but the world whirled around him and he found himself back on the ground.

“Ow. It’s my own damn fault, I should have learned not to provoke a Force-user…” he couldn’t help but let out a bitter laugh.

Her brows furrowed.

“Don’t say things like that. It’s my fault, I…”

“I know, I know.” His second attempt at sitting up proved to be successful, although he already felt a monster of a headache forming in his mind. When he finally stood up, not without Rey’s help, he turned to her. “I think I should go to sleep, now... We can finish this,” he waved his hand between them, “tomorrow.” He tried to stagger to his room, nearly stumbling again. Rey was by his side in an instant.

“Do you need help?” she offered carefully.

“Yes, please.”

***

Twelve hours and several painkillers later they were sitting on their usual places by the kitchen table - Rey, looking down at her lap, a picture of remorse and regret and Hux, still massaging his temples to chase away the last ghosts of the pain.

“Okay, so…” he started, and Rey immediately put her head even lower. “Rey, stop it. I am not angry. I may be too exhausted to be angry and I shouldn’t have provoked you so much that you… did what you did.” 

She looked up at him warily.

“Armie, I…”

“No, please, let me.” He closed his eyes and let out a pained sigh. “I had enough time to piece most of the things you showed me - I didn’t know it was even possible, but now that I think about it, it seems logical. Anyway, I  _ see _ what you meant about Re... Ben. I do. I can’t say I would ever  _ forgive  _ him, but I understand why you would… Feel as you did. Also, was he really in contact with you all that time?”

“Yes?” She answered, unsure of where this was going.

Hux hid his face in his hands.

“That moron,” he muttered, then sighed. “I’m sorry for attacking you and doubting you and your intentions. I don’t… endure this situation well, as you noticed. I should have said something earlier, been more open, but… Well, it doesn’t matter, I didn’t. I don’t want this planet to be the only thing I will see until I die. I was brought up believing I was meant for greater things, and I know that life has already proven me wrong and I’m trying to change. But it’s not easy. I know you’re trying, but I feel trapped here and I cannot help that.” 

It was easier to look at the table between them than at her face, especially when he had to say what he was planning. “And I couldn’t bear the thought of being just a… replacement, especially for someone I’ve despised with my whole being. Because that would mean that I could lose you and I‘ve grown to care about you a lot, Rey.” He reached for her hand and held it tightly in his own, finally looking at her face.

Her eyes were wide, still a little red and watery from before (he made her cry through the night, didn’t he), her chapped lips slightly parted in a look of wonder.

“It’s not the only reason, but I am aware that you know more about me than anyone ever has - the few good things and the many bad. And you still decided to become my friend. And I want to believe you that it’s not because of him, but it’s not easy for me to trust someone so much. To willingly become vulnerable, when I have only ever been among hostile people. But from what you told me, and a few things you showed me, I think it’s not easy for you either.” 

“Yes,” she breathed.

“So it’s not going to be easy for either of us, to build something together. But I’m willing to try… harder, if you want to. Because unless I misunderstood you terribly, you reciprocate my feelings?”

She smiled lightly at his choice of words and just nodded.

“Good!” He smiled back and relaxed. “Now, the important question: should I leave the moustache or should I just shave it all?”

His attempt at lifting the mood was rewarded with Rey’s melodious laughter.

“Actually, leave it. I like it. And… it might be useful,” she added with a thoughtful look on her face.

“How so?” Armitage frowned.

“Have you seen yourself in the mirror lately?”

He grimaced.

“I… no, not too often. I avoided it when possible,” he answered with a truthful grimace.

“Well… you hardly look like yourself. No, please, that’s not a jab at you!” she added quickly, seeing how he opened his mouth to comment. “It’s just… if someone didn’t know you well, they wouldn’t recognise you. You don’t look like the prim and proper, pomaded up fearsome General Hux anymore. A little more… dishevelled, with your hair grown and the beard, it would be easy to overlook you. I still wouldn’t take you to any of the main Resistance bases or the ex-stormtrooper rehabilitation camp, but… we could take you out, I think. I mean, you aren’t the only ginger in the galaxy, right?” She added with a cheeky smile.

Armie couldn’t stop a laugh.

“No, I don’t think so. We could try this. But… Do you want this? Do you want me to travel with you?”

Surprisingly, Rey averted her eyes.

“More than anything,” she said with a blush. “I mean,” she added quickly, “at least until we can get you your own ship. Then… we’ll see,” she finished as if unsure what to say.

He smiled.

“Don’t worry. I won’t leave you,” he said gently, squeezing her hand reassuringly.

Rey’s mirroring smile was full of hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what do you think - did I meet your expectations? I know this ending isn't explicitly happy - more like hopeful. But you can believe me - they stay together and they are happy. It's not easy - they are both broken, but they can learn and heal together. And help mend the galaxy, too. 
> 
> I am thinking about some kind of epilogue that shows it clearer - because dammit, we need all the HEAs we can get and the more happy in the happy ever after, the better - but I can't promise it now. 
> 
> What's next for me? Well. I have the first chapter of my next fic, "Keep Your Friends Close" ready and beta read (you won't guess who did it! ;) ) and ready to be posted as soon as Aszka sends me a moodboard; it's a Tomb Raider Reyux AU, and it's already a lot of fun, but I have to warn you - I am not writing the whole thing before posting this time, because wow, that was HARD, so updates may be slow and inconsistent. Erulisse is also in the middle of beta reading the next chapter of my Reylux long fic, [Bed, Breakfast, and Black Magic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15202568/chapters/35259527) \- if it's something for you, check it out, it's very much a nice, light story, a polyamorous romance. Hux is not in the picture yet, but he's coming. If you like Reyux AU, check out [Yule Ball](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17785211) \- my favourite fic of mine, Hogwarts AU; now available also as a podfic [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cn7E1-M1X2Y&t) and [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yM4Vw0RC5FA).
> 
> Thank you all for your lovely comments, you can find me on twitter @Akashne2 but I'm mostly reading textfics, checking notifications, and avoiding drama.

**Author's Note:**

> Toss a comment to your writer?


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